How Cialdini's Liking Principle Builds Authentic Connections and Drives Business Growth

Beyond a Friendly Smile – The Science of Connection in Marketing

In the world of business, the concept of "liking" is often dismissed as a soft skill, an unteachable art possessed by a handful of gifted "naturals" who effortlessly sway the undecided and convert the opposition. This view, however, mistakes the effect for the cause. The ability to be liked—and by extension, to persuade—is not magic; it is a science.

In our increasingly overloaded lives, where cognitive capacity is a finite resource, humans rely on mental shortcuts, or heuristics, to guide decision-making. Among the most potent of these is the principle of liking listed by Robert Cialdini.

In this article, I’ll focus on Dr. Robert Cialdini’s Liking Principle not as a collection of sales tricks, but as a scientifically validated framework for building the genuine rapport, trust, and authentic resonance that underpins sustainable business growth.

I'll investigate what the persuasion science tells us about the liking principle (and the important factors that affect its efficiency). I'll also discuss some real-life examples so you can discover how it is applied in practice by brands to foster positive associations, find common ground with potential customers and build positive relationships that lead us towards mutual goals.

1: Deconstructing Liking by Robert Cialdini: The Psychological Drivers of Affinity

The liking principle posits that people are significantly more likely to say "yes" to requests from those they know and like. This simple statement belies a complex interplay of psychological drivers that can be systematically understood and leveraged. At its core, the principle operates by tapping into our fundamental need for social connection, validation, and trust. The following components form the pillars of this powerful persuasive force.  

1.1: The "We" Instinct: The Overwhelming Power of Similarity

The most fundamental driver of liking is similarity. We are instinctively drawn to people who are similar to us, whether in opinions, personality traits, background, shared values or lifestyle (same hobbies, interests). This sense of shared identity creates a foundation for connection. This is not merely a social preference; it is a deeply ingrained cognitive shortcut for establishing trust.

The sense of shared identity creates a foundation for connection.

This mechanism stems from our evolutionary history, where in-group preference was a crucial survival strategy. Research in evolutionary game theory has shown that in-group favouritism evolved because it supported cooperation and survival within groups (Fu et al., 2012). When a person or, by extension, a brand signals similarity—“they’re like me”—our brain interprets this as a sign of belonging to the same tribe. People consistently show preferential trust and cooperation towards those perceived as similar (Fu et al., 2012).

The affinity bias (our tendency to prefer ‘those like us’) predisposes us to trust, lowering our cognitive defences and perceived risk. Indeed, research shows that people tend to trust others who share salient values, and this social trust reduces their perception of risk (Cvetkovich, Siegrist & Roth, 2000). Moreover, similarity helps reduce uncertainty, which further enhances liking and receptivity in communication (Berger & Calabrese, 1975).

The causal chain is potent: a signal of similarity triggers an in-group bias, which in turn reduces perceived risk, increases trust, and ultimately enhances persuasion. This explains precisely why a brand that speaks its audience’s language is so effective; it is a direct and powerful hack into our innate trust-evaluation systems.

ThinkGeek - the liking principle of persuasion in action

A classic case study in leveraging similarity is the retailer ThinkGeek. Targeting a niche audience of 'nerds or geeks', the company meticulously crafted a brand persona that mirrored its customers. The website’s copy, product descriptions, and marketing campaigns were filled with insider jokes, obscure references, and a 'geeky' tone of voice — delivering entertaining product descriptions and creative April Fool’s Day pranks.

By doing so, ThinkGeek sent a constant, clear signal: ‘We are one of you’. This created a powerful sense of kinship and a fiercely loyal customer base that felt understood by the brand on a fundamental level (Washington Post).

1.2: The Currency of Compliments: Praise as a Tool for Rapport

Humans have a powerful, often automatic, positive reaction to praise. We tend to like those who pay us compliments, a phenomenon that is both simple and profound. Research from the University of North Carolina found that people felt the highest regard for an individual who flattered them, even when they knew the comments were untrue (Cialdini, 2001). Positive remarks about another person's traits, attitude, or performance reliably generate liking and a willingness to comply with that person's wishes (even if those are not genuine compliments).  

The power of praise operates on two psychological levels. First, a compliment acts as a form of social gift, subtly invoking the reciprocity principle. More importantly, praise validates the recipient’s self-concept, which is a gratifying psychological experience. This positive feeling of being seen and valued becomes directly associated with the source of the compliment, lowering scepticism and enhancing receptiveness.

In a marketing context, this can be applied through personalised communications that show genuine appreciation. Examples include sending personalised birthday messages with a special offer, using positive reinforcement messages during a multi-step online process ("You're doing great! Just one step left"), or simply crafting copy that makes potential customers feel welcome and valued. The key is for the praise to feel authentic in its intent, even if it is automated. It is the act of being recognised that generates the positive effect.

1.3: Forging Alliances: Building Bonds Through Cooperation

Working together toward a common goal is one of the most reliable ways to build rapport and camaraderie. When we are put in a situation where we must "pull together" for mutual benefit, we naturally develop more positive feelings for our collaborators. This is because cooperation requires communication, shared vulnerability, and mutual reliance, all of which are foundational elements of a strong relationship.

Working together toward a common goal is one of the most reliable ways to build bonds and foster cooperation. A classic demonstration comes from Elliot Aronson’s ‘jigsaw classroom’ experiment in desegregated Texas schools. When students of different racial backgrounds were required to rely on one another to complete assignments, prejudice decreased and cross-group friendships flourished (Aronson & Bridgeman, 1979).

Heineken "Worlds Apart" experiment - how to find common ground

A striking demonstration of this principle is the Heineken “Worlds Apart” commercial. In this social experiment, individuals with diametrically opposed worldviews on topics like feminism, climate change, and transgender rights were paired up. Unaware of their differences, they were first tasked with cooperatively building a piece of furniture and encouraged to get to know each other more. To complete the task, the participants had to work closely together, which fostered a genuine connection between them. The shared effort and required teamwork created a tangible bond between them.

Only after this cooperative act were their conflicting views revealed. Instead of leading to immediate conflict, the pre-existing bond forged through cooperation prompted them to sit down, share a beer, and discuss their differences respectfully. This experiment powerfully illustrates that cooperation can precede and even create liking, breaking down barriers that might otherwise seem insurmountable.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKggA9k8DKw

The business context of the principle of liking

The liking principle suggests moving beyond a purely transactional relationship with customers. Brands can invite customers to co-create value by participating in beta tests for new software, contributing ideas for a new product line, or working together toward a shared community goal, such as a charity drive.

Businesses should frame partnerships as working toward mutual goals, emphasising that both parties benefit from collaboration. In a professional setting (like a B2B context), this means framing the engagement as a collaborative partnership aimed at achieving mutual success, rather than a simple vendor-client dynamic. Inviting clients to cooperate with us towards shared success helps build trust and rapport, strengthening long-term relationships.

1.4: The Halo of Association: How Positive Connections Transfer Value

The principle of association states that we feel more favourable toward things that are connected to people, ideas, or objects we already like. This is the psychological mechanism that powers celebrity endorsements; the positive feelings and trust an audience has for a celebrity are transferred to the product they are promoting, adding positive associations (Cialdini, 2009).

This "halo effect" is not limited to people. A brand can be positively associated with attractive models, a desirable lifestyle, beautiful design, or deeply held ideals like environmental sustainability (Thorndike, 1920).

However, a deeper analysis reveals that this is not just about a simple transfer of positive feelings. Often, the association principle taps into our desire for status. We are subconsciously attracted to people, objects, and ideals that we perceive as having high social value. By associating ourselves with these high-status entities—whether by buying the luxury car shown with an attractive model or wearing the apparel of a brand that embodies a cool ideal—we feel that we can elevate our own status.

In psychology and consumer research, this process is described as anticipatory socialisation—adopting the behaviours, symbols, and values of a group we aspire to join (Merton, 1957). In marketing, the same dynamic is often captured by the concept of the aspirational group: a social category to which we do not yet belong, but which strongly shapes our preferences and consumption choices (Escalas & Bettman, 2003).

The liking we develop for the brand is, in part, gratitude for facilitating this perceived status lift. This explains why people have such strong preferences for their favourite James Bond actor; they see an aspirational version of themselves and identify with the actor who best represents that ideal.

The liking we develop for the brand is, in part, gratitude for facilitating this perceived status lift.

Free People style connects aspiration and physical appearance

A brand that masterfully uses association is Free People. The company consistently uses a Bohemian, free-spirited aesthetic across its clothing, website design, social media, and all marketing materials. It associates the brand not just with a product, but with the ideal of a creative, artistic, and free lifestyle.

This resonates deeply with its target audience, who purchase the clothes to associate themselves with that aspirational identity. The brand becomes a vehicle for self-expression and status signalling within a particular subculture. In this way, Free People doesn’t just sell clothes – it sells membership in an aspirational tribe.

1.5: The Missing Mechanism: Physical Attractiveness

Among the most fundamental—yet often overlooked—drivers of the Liking principle is physical attractiveness. Decades of research show that we instinctively attribute favourable traits such as intelligence, kindness, honesty, and even competence to physically attractive people.

Psychologists Dion, Berscheid and Walster (1972) famously coined this as the “what is beautiful is good” stereotype. Later meta-analyses confirmed the effect: beauty systematically biases our judgments, creating what is known as the halo effect—where a single positive attribute, such as good looks, spills over and colours our evaluation of unrelated qualities (although the effect varies depending on what personality traits we’re concluding about; Eagly et al., 1991). This means that physical attractiveness often leads people to assume other positive traits, such as trustworthiness, reliability, and honesty, even when there is no direct evidence for these qualities.

Physical attractiveness often leads people to assume other positive traits, such as trustworthiness, reliability, and honesty, even when there is no direct evidence for these qualities.

For marketers, this shortcut is far more than a curiosity of social psychology—it is a powerful persuasion tool. The ubiquity of attractive models and actors in advertising is no accident: their perceived qualities are subconsciously transferred onto the products they endorse, making those products appear more desirable, higher quality, and even more trustworthy (Kahle & Homer, 1985).

The exact mechanism also applies beyond people. Design itself can carry a halo. A brand with a visually appealing website or sleek packaging earns not just aesthetic appreciation but also an unspoken boost in credibility and trust. A polished interface can make a company appear more reliable, while an elegant product design elevates the perception of value—before a single feature has been considered.

The lesson is simple but profound: beauty biases us. Whether it takes the form of a charismatic ambassador or a well-crafted user experience, physical attractiveness has the power to quietly but consistently tip the scales of persuasion in a brand’s favour.

1.6: The Power of Familiarity: Contact and the Mere-Exposure Effect

Why do we feel oddly reassured by a logo we have seen a thousand times? Beyond cooperation or trust, liking can also grow from something far simpler: repeated contact. This is the essence of the mere-exposure effect—first identified by Robert Zajonc (1968)—which shows that the more familiar we are with a stimulus, the more we tend to like it. Even fleeting exposure to a brand name, a logo, or a jingle can, over time, build comfort and trust. In a marketplace overflowing with options, familiarity acts as a silent compass, guiding our preferences without conscious deliberation.

The more familiar we are with a stimulus, the more we tend to like it

Meta-analyses have confirmed that this effect is both robust and pervasive (Bornstein, 1989). Its marketing implications are profound. The constant visibility of the Coca-Cola logo or the McDonald’s jingle is not accidental: repetition transforms these brand cues into symbols of reliability. In the digital era, the same principle underpins ad retargeting—those persistent ads that follow us after visiting a site. While sometimes irritating, their psychological engine is simple: familiarity breeds liking.

However, this effect has limits. Overexposure can lead to a wear-out effect, where what once felt familiar becomes boring—or even annoying. For marketers, the art lies in balancing consistency with creativity. The solution is often repetition with variation: presenting the same core identity through different executions, whether a refreshed visual, a reimagined campaign, or subtle shifts in messaging. The key is to remain recognisable while avoiding monotony.

The lesson for brands is clear: visibility is not vanity—it is psychology. Familiarity, when managed intelligently, can be one of the most cost-effective levers of persuasion.

1.7: Those Who Like Us and the "Gain-Loss Effect": The Power of Earned Affinity

Human nature makes us gravitate toward people who like us. Reciprocal affection is one of the simplest and most reliable drivers of liking: when we sense approval, we tend to return it. Compliments and expressions of regard act like social currency, strengthening the bond between giver and receiver.

However, psychologists Elliot Aronson and Darwyn Linder (1965) uncovered a powerful twist. They found that we respond most strongly not to steady praise, but to praise that has been earned. In their experiments, participants reported greater attraction toward someone who initially seemed critical but later warmed to them, compared to someone who had been consistently positive. Conversely, a "loss" of esteem—when someone's opinion shifts from positive to negative—is more impactful than a consistently negative opinion. This became known as the Gain-Loss Effect.

Why does this shift matter so much? A gain in esteem feels authentic. When someone changes their opinion of us from negative to positive, it signals discernment: their final approval seems more credible precisely because it wasn’t automatic. Conversely, a loss of esteem—when a supporter turns critical—hurts more than consistent negativity, because it feels like a fall from grace.

For marketers, the implications are striking. A journey from scepticism to approval often carries more persuasive power than unwavering positivity. A product review that begins with doubt—“I wasn’t sure this gadget was worth the price”—but ends with conviction—“after a week, I’m impressed”—feels more authentic than one that is glowing from the outset. This narrative arc mirrors real decision-making, making the endorsement more trustworthy.

The lesson is clear: earned liking is more valuable than constant liking. By embracing stories of conversion—whether from cautious reviewers, sceptical customers, or even critics who become advocates—brands can build trust that feels authentic, persuasive, and lasting.

2: The Liking Principle in Action: Modern Marketing Applications

Understanding the theoretical pillars of the liking principle is the first step. The next one is to see how they are integrated into tangible, modern marketing strategies that build connections and drive conversions in the digital age. From the words a brand chooses to the stories it tells, the liking principle is a constant, powerful undercurrent.

2.1: Crafting a Relatable Brand Voice: You Are How You Speak

A brand's voice—the consistent personality and style of its communication—is one of the most direct ways to signal similarity. In a crowded digital landscape, a generic, corporate voice is easily ignored. A voice that resonates with a specific audience, however, can build a powerful bond. The strategic application here is to move beyond one-size-fits-all messaging and adopt a persona that reflects the target customer.

In a crowded digital landscape, a generic, corporate voice is easily ignored. A voice that resonates with a specific audience, however, can build a powerful bond.

This means conducting in-depth audience research to understand not just demographics, but also psychographics:

• How do they communicate?
• What are their values?
• What media do they consume?
• What is their sense of humour?

A financial services firm targeting high-net-worth individuals will adopt a serious, data-driven, and formal tone. In contrast, a company selling accessories to video game enthusiasts might use memes, insider slang, and a playful, irreverent tone. The goal is not to be universally liked, but to be intensely liked by the right people. This authenticity in voice makes the brand feel less like a faceless entity and more like a trusted member of the customer's tribe.

2.2: Humanising the Digital Storefront: The People Behind the Pixels

One of the most straightforward yet underutilised applications of the liking principle is to show the human side of a company. People are wired to connect with other people, not with abstract corporate logos or mission statements. Humanising a brand is a direct strategy to foster liking and trust.

The "About Us" page of a website is a prime location for this purpose. Too often, it is filled with dry corporate history or jargon-laden value propositions. Instead, it should be treated as an opportunity to introduce the team, tell their stories, and highlight their shared passions.  

PrtRelocation - When Who You Are Is the Best Ice-Breaker

A striking example comes from PetRelocation, a company that specialises in helping families move their pets safely around the world. Instead of presenting their team with generic corporate bios, the company built a “Meet the Team” section that feels more like a community of fellow pet lovers than a business page. Each profile highlights not just a role, but a personal story: photos of staff with their own animals, anecdotes about quirky pet habits, and hobbies that bring their personalities to life. By sharing these personal stories, the team connects with potential customers on a human level, making their approach relatable and authentic.

For anxious owners, this instantly signals: “These are people like me”. By humanising the brand and showcasing genuine affinity for animals, PetRelocation taps into the principle of similarity, turning potential scepticism into trust. The importance of human interaction in building trust is clear here—customers feel reassured when they see real people who care. The effect isn’t just emotional; it translates directly into performance. Visitors who feel they are handing their beloved companions to true pet enthusiasts are far more likely to convert, making this simple content choice a subtle but powerful driver of business results.

2.3: The Tupperware Party 2.0: Liking in Referral and Influencer Marketing

Long before the digital age, the Tupperware party was already a masterclass in the principle of liking. The genius of the format was simple: guests weren’t invited by a faceless brand but by a friend—the hostess—whose warmth and personal relationship acted as a persuasive lever.

Research on these gatherings found that guests’ fondness for their hostess was twice as influential in their purchasing decisions as their actual assessment of the Tupperware products (Collins-Nelson, 2010). People weren’t just buying storage containers; they were buying to support someone they liked.

People weren’t just buying storage containers; they were buying to support someone they liked.

Fast forward to today, and the model hasn’t disappeared—it has simply evolved. The modern equivalent is the “refer-a-friend” program. These campaigns work because a friend’s recommendation slips past our advertising defences. When a product is endorsed by someone we already like and trust, it feels less like a sales pitch and more like advice. Applying the liking principle in referral marketing often leads to increased sales, as trust and personal connection drive purchasing decisions. It is the liking principle wrapped in social proof.

When a product is endorsed by someone we already like and trust, it feels less like a sales pitch and more like advice.

Influencer marketing works on a similar dynamic, but with a subtle twist. Here, the influencer serves as a proxy friend. The effect only works if that influencer is genuinely liked and seen as relevant and authentic by the audience. When the relationship feels transactional—when it’s obvious the influencer has no real affinity with the product—the magic breaks.

Consider celebrity endorsements in the 2016 U.S. presidential election: despite candidates rallying high-profile supporters, there is little evidence that these endorsements moved the needle (according to Vanity Fair, “the candidate with the most lost”). The connection was too weak, the liking not transferable. When the liking principle is applied authentically in influencer marketing, it can also result in increased sales due to the influencer's genuine connection with their audience.

The lesson for marketers is clear: liking must feel authentic. Whether through a friend’s referral or an influencer’s recommendation, the persuasive power only transfers when the relationship feels real, the messenger is genuinely liked, and the association makes intuitive sense to the audience. Anything less risks falling flat.

3: Beyond the Consumer: Applying Liking in B2B and SaaS

While many examples of the liking principle come from the B2C world, its application in high-stakes, long-term business relationships is arguably even more critical. In B2B and SaaS environments, where decisions involve significant investment and long-term partnership, liking is not a soft benefit—it is a hard-edged competitive advantage.

3.1: From Vendor to Valued Partner: Building Rapport in B2B Sales

In B2B sales, where solutions are often complex and sales cycles stretch over months, products frequently end up looking remarkably similar. When all vendors appear equal on paper, what really tips the scales? The answer is surprisingly human: we choose the people we like.

In B2B sales, when all vendors appear equal on paper, we choose the people we like.

Psychologically, this is the moment when the decision-making process shifts from slow, rational analysis to faster heuristics. The client defaults to trust, warmth, and affinity—preferring the vendor who feels more like a partner than a supplier. This is why engineering liking is not a soft skill but a strategic differentiator in a commoditised market.

• Personalised Communication: Move beyond generic outreach. Referencing a prospect’s specific industry challenge, congratulating them on a recent funding round, or commenting on an article they published signals real attention and care.
• Finding Common Ground: The small talk before a meeting is not wasted time—it is rapport-building capital. Discovering that you share a favourite sports team or even a mutual mentor creates what Cialdini calls a “presumption of goodwill”, colouring every future interaction with a positive bias.
• Strategic Community Engagement: Building rapport at scale can be achieved by participating in the same ecosystems as your clients. Sponsoring industry events, contributing valuable content to relevant online communities, and engaging in professional forums demonstrate an alignment with client values and establish the brand as a helpful, cooperative member of their professional world.

In B2B, the product or capabilities may get you shortlisted. But it’s the relationship — grounded in liking — that gets you selected.

3.2: The SaaS Likeability Factor: Driving Retention Through Human Connection

In SaaS, acquisition may win headlines, but retention wins the business. In a subscription model, the sale is never truly closed. Each renewal depends on whether the customer feels enough connection, trust, and goodwill to stay. Here, the liking principle becomes a core retention engine: a customer who genuinely likes the company and its people is far less likely to churn, even in the face of lower prices or flashier features elsewhere.

Many SaaS best practices, often repeated as mantras, are best understood through the lens of liking. The principles provide the psychological why behind tactics that otherwise risk sounding like checklist items.

• Similarity: The advice to build detailed buyer personas is not just marketing orthodoxy — it’s psychology. Without knowing a customer’s values, language, and pain points, you cannot effectively mirror them. With that knowledge, every piece of messaging whispers: “we’re like you".
• Cooperation: Customer service is more than problem resolution. Every support ticket is a chance to collaborate. Solving an issue together, with speed and empathy, turns frustration into partnership and builds goodwill that often outlasts the memory of the problem itself.
• Praise: Personalised onboarding and proactive success check-ins aren’t “nice-to-haves”. They are signals of recognition. They say to the customer: “you matter beyond your subscription fee”. This validation strengthens the emotional bond.
• Similarity + Cooperation at scale: Building user communities unlocks a network effect of liking. Customers see themselves reflected in others, reinforcing their identity within the tribe, and they collaborate by sharing solutions. This peer-to-peer bond rebounds onto the brand itself.

SaaS companies should therefore view their customer success teams not just as support functions, but as Liking Engineers. Their mandate is to nurture human connection at scale. Metrics like Net Promoter Score (NPS) directly capture this effort: a Promoter is, by definition, a customer who likes you enough to stake their reputation on recommending you.

The lesson is simple: in SaaS, retention isn’t about the stickiness of the product — it’s about the stickiness of the relationship.

4: The Ethical Compass: Navigating Persuasion and Manipulation

Persuasion is powerful. But power is never neutral — it can be used to build or to destroy. For any brand built on authentic resonance, understanding the ethical application of influence is non-negotiable. Cialdini himself draws a clear line: ethical influence builds trust and long-term relationships; unethical manipulation corrodes them.

4.1: The Influencer's Mandate: Be a Detective, Not a Smuggler

The core of ethical influence is honesty. Cialdini uses a powerful metaphor to distinguish between the two approaches: an ethical influencer acts as a "detective", while a manipulator acts as a "smuggler".

• A detective uncovers real, pre-existing similarities and genuine points of praise or cooperation. They do the work — researching, listening, noticing. For example, a salesperson who sees on LinkedIn that a prospect volunteers for the same charity and brings it up is highlighting a truth that strengthens rapport. It is persuasion grounded in reality.
• A smuggler, by contrast, fabricates these bonds. They fake enthusiasm for hobbies they don’t share or offer hollow flattery to create counterfeit rapport. This short-term trick erodes long-term trust.

As Cialdini (2016) once illustrated: when he needed data from a colleague on a tight deadline, he reminded him, “We’ve been members of the same psychology department for 12 years”. He wasn’t deceiving — he was ethically pointing to a genuine, shared identity to encourage cooperation.

4.2: The Trust Deficit: Why Inauthentic Liking Always Backfires

Misusing the Liking principle can deliver a short-term win — a quick sale, a hasty agreement — but it always plants the seeds of long-term loss. Humans are remarkably good at detecting insincerity. And when fake attempts at rapport are exposed, they don’t just fail: they backfire, creating active dislike and deep mistrust.

The foundation of goodwill shatters, the relationship is often irreparable, and the long-term costs escalate: a lost customer for life, negative word-of-mouth discouraging others, and a reputation that takes years to repair.

The lesson is clear: ethical influence is the only sustainable path. By grounding persuasion in honesty and genuine respect, brands cultivate the trust that fosters long-term partnerships, loyalty, and advocacy.

5: The Synergy of Influence: How Liking Amplifies Other Principles

Persuasion principles rarely act alone. Like instruments in an orchestra, their true power emerges in harmony. Among them, liking is the amplifier—it strengthens and accelerates the impact of other principles, particularly authority and social proof.

5.1: The Interplay with Authority

We are more inclined to defer to authority when it comes from someone we like. Expertise alone can feel cold or intimidating. But when an expert communicates generously, with warmth and relatability, their authority transforms into guidance we welcome. Conversely, we often develop liking because of someone’s perceived authority—when knowledge is paired with integrity, admiration quickly follows.

This dynamic is crucial in content marketing. A thought leader who explains complex topics with clarity and empathy builds both authority and liking. The result is a persuasive combination: the brand is trusted because it is credible, and followed because it is liked.

5.2: The Interplay with Social Proof

Social proof tells us: look to others to decide how to act. But its impact multiplies when those “others” are people we like or identify with. This is why similarity-driven liking supercharges social proof.

A generic testimonial may reassure; a testimonial from someone who shares our industry, role, or niche passion feels irresistible. It taps into both our need for belonging and our reliance on group cues. Research shows that hyper-specific messaging—like hotel signs stating that “75% of guests who stayed in this room reused their towels”—is dramatically more effective than vague, general appeals (Goldstein, Cialdini, Griskevicius, 2008). Why? Because it connects social proof with our crowd.

Modern platforms exploit this perfectly. LinkedIn nudges you with “People like you in your industry follow this page.” Spotify Wrapped shows you not just what you listened to, but how it compares to peers, strengthening tribal bonds. In each case, social proof is turbocharged by the engine of Liking.

We don’t just follow the crowd; we follow our crowd.

The strongest form of persuasion doesn’t come from authority in isolation or from the masses at large. It comes from people we perceive as our people. We don’t just follow the crowd; we follow our crowd.

6: The Dark Side of Liking: Unintended Social Consequences

The same psychology that sells sneakers can also sell division. While the liking principle is a powerful tool for building affinity and loyalty, its underlying mechanisms can, if left unchecked, spill over into exclusion, bias, and fragmentation.

6.1: The Mechanism of Exclusion and Tribalism

Our instinct to favour those who are “like us” is the engine behind the power of liking. But the shadow side is in-group bias. We instinctively extend trust, forgiveness, and generosity to insiders — while judging outsiders more harshly. Decades of research show that in-group favouritism often leads to stereotyping, prejudice, and even schadenfreude at an out-group’s misfortune. In marketing, this can manifest as “tribal branding”: campaigns that unintentionally draw hard lines between “us” and “them,” reinforcing social divisions instead of bridging them.

6.2: Algorithmic Amplification: Filter Bubbles and Polarisation

In the digital age, algorithms have become industrial-scale liking machines. Social platforms optimise for engagement by feeding us more of what we already like — the filter bubbles (Pariser, 2011).

These personalised ecosystems of affirmation feel comfortable but are isolating. Over time, they harden into echo chambers, where alternative perspectives vanish and beliefs are amplified without challenge. The result is greater political polarisation, weaker civic discourse, and consumers more entrenched in their own worldviews. For marketers, this raises an ethical question: are we reaching our audience, or are we deepening their bubble?

6.3: How to Apply the Liking Principle Ethically? Guardrails and D&I Considerations

The very mechanisms that make liking persuasive demand careful ethical guardrails. Consider beauty bias: campaigns that only feature narrow, conventional beauty standards risk reinforcing harmful stereotypes and exclusion. Or similarity bias: by unconsciously designing campaigns for the dominant group, marketers risk alienating underrepresented communities.

Marketers must therefore practise conscious inclusion. Ask:

• Who is represented in our campaign — and who is missing?
• Are we reinforcing stereotypes, even unintentionally?
• Does our use of liking broaden belonging, or shrink it?

Liking is a double-edged principle. Used ethically, it fosters connection and a sense of belonging, building positive relationships. Misused, it entrenches bias and division. The responsibility lies with marketers to wield it consciously, ensuring that influence builds bridges rather than walls.

7: The Cultural Dimension of Liking

A smile, a compliment, a shared joke — they don’t always land the same way across cultures. While the psychological mechanisms of influence are universal, their expression and effectiveness vary dramatically depending on cultural context. The most important distinction for marketers to grasp is that between individualistic and collectivistic cultures.

7.1: Individualistic vs. Collectivistic Cultures

Individualistic cultures, such as those in North America and much of Western Europe, celebrate independence, personal achievement, and self-reliance. Here, identity is largely self-defined.

Collectivistic cultures, common in East Asia, Africa, and Latin America, emphasise interdependence, harmony, and group goals. In these contexts, identity is not just personal but social — deeply rooted in relationships, families, and communities.

7.2: Liking and Influence Across Cultures

Research shows that people from collectivistic cultures may be more responsive to influence strategies that reinforce social bonds, including liking, authority, and consensus. Strategies grounded in similarity and cooperation resonate strongly, as they align with cultural values of belonging and mutual support. A campaign highlighting a shared identity — “we’re in this together” — often lands better than one emphasising individual gain (see: Cialdini et al., 1999; Bond & Smith, 1996).

Compliments, however, illustrate how tactics must be culturally tuned. In many individualistic cultures, praise is accepted openly with a “thank you”. In Greece, direct compliments may be seen as insincere flattery. In Finland, modesty norms mean a compliment is often deflected with self-deprecation. The fundamental drive for connection is universal — but the expression of liking can backfire if delivered without cultural sensitivity.

The Liking principle works everywhere, but never in the same way.

The Liking principle works everywhere, but never in the same way. In individualistic markets, speak to the individual’s identity. In collectivistic ones, highlight the group. Always check: Does my strategy signal authentic respect for cultural norms of connection? If not, what was meant as a bridge may quickly turn into a barrier.

8: A Practical Mini-Playbook for A/B Testing the Liking Principle

Don’t just assume the liking principle works — prove it. A/B testing allows you to translate psychological insights into measurable outcomes. Here are four experiments every marketer can try.

Even small shifts in tone, authenticity, or relatability can significantly change customer behaviour. But assumptions aren’t enough — only testing reveals what truly drives liking for your audience.

A/B testing reveals what truly drives liking for your audience.

Applying the Principle of Liking: Engineering Authentic Resonance

Liking is not a smile. It is a strategy. Far from being a superficial display of charm, it is a multifaceted and powerful engine of persuasion based on persuasion science. Its strength lies in its ability to touch the deepest human drives: our need for connection, our reliance on trust to navigate complexity, and our hunger for validation. By understanding its core components—similarity, praise, cooperation, and association—marketers can move from intuition to a scientific framework for building rapport.

The most sustainable application of liking, however, is not a tactical checklist. It is a strategic philosophy: to build a relatable brand, to foster genuine cooperation with customers, and to engage with them from a place of authenticity and respect. Checklists create campaigns. Authenticity creates movements.

For the modern marketing leader, B2B salesperson, or SaaS founder, the real challenge is not simply to acquire customers but to earn genuine affinity. Brands that are honestly liked are trusted. Brands that are trusted are recommended. And brands that are recommended become movements.

This is the essence of Authentic Resonance: transforming fleeting transactions into enduring loyalty, and passive users into passionate advocates. In a noisy, competitive world, that is not just an advantage — it is the only reliable engine of sustainable growth.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the liking principle in simple terms?

The liking principle is a scientifically validated concept which states that people are much more likely to agree to requests made by individuals they know and like. It functions as a mental shortcut, or heuristic, that helps guide our decision-making by making us more receptive to people with whom we have a positive connection.

What are the main ways to increase 'liking' in marketing?

According to the research, there are seven primary drivers you can leverage to increase liking in marketing to foster positive relationships:

• Similarity: People are instinctively drawn to those who are similar to them in opinions, background, or values, as this creates a sense of trust and in-group preference.
• Praise: Humans react positively and automatically to compliments, which can generate liking and a greater willingness to comply, even if the praise is known to be untrue.
• Cooperation: Working together toward a shared, mutually beneficial goal is a reliable way to build rapport and positive feelings among collaborators.
• Association: Positive feelings are transferred from people, ideas, or objects we already like to things connected with them, such as a product endorsed by a liked celebrity.
• Physical Attractiveness: Through a "halo effect", we tend to unconsciously attribute positive traits like honesty and intelligence to physically attractive people, and these traits can be transferred to the brands they are associated with.
• Familiarity: Known as the "mere-exposure effect", repeated contact with a brand name, logo, or message builds comfort and trust over time, making us like it more.
• The Gain-Loss Effect: We respond most strongly not to constant praise but to earned praise; a person whose opinion of us shifts from negative to positive is liked more than someone who was always positive because their approval feels more authentic and credible. Furthermore, the "gain" appears to be larger.

How is 'liking' different in B2B sales compared to B2C?

While the core psychological drivers are the same, the application of liking is often more critical and strategic in B2B contexts compared to B2C. In B2B sales, where products are complex, sales cycles are long, and solutions from different vendors often appear similar, the client's decision-making process frequently shifts from rational analysis to trust and affinity. Liking becomes a hard-edged competitive advantage that transforms a vendor into a valued partner.

In the SaaS industry, this translates into a core retention strategy, as a customer who genuinely likes the company and its people is significantly less likely to churn.

Pro tip: In B2B, likability isn’t decoration — it’s differentiation.

Is using the liking principle manipulative?

The liking principle is a powerful tool, and its use can be either ethical or manipulative depending on the intent. Dr. Cialdini distinguishes between two approaches:

• An ethical influencer acts as a "detective", uncovering real, pre-existing similarities and genuine points of connection to build authentic rapport.
• A manipulator acts as a "smuggler", fabricating similarities and offering hollow flattery to create counterfeit rapport for a short-term gain.

Using the principle in an inauthentic way is not only unethical but also ineffective in the long run. People are adept at detecting insincerity, which can backfire, creating active dislike and irreparable damage to trust.

Can the liking principle have negative side effects?

Yes, the underlying psychological mechanisms of the liking principle can have unintended negative social consequences.

• Exclusion and Tribalism: Our instinct to favour those "like us" is the shadow side of similarity, known as in-group bias. This can lead to stereotyping, prejudice against outsiders, and social divisions.
• Algorithmic Amplification: In the digital world, social media algorithms function as "liking machines" that can create filter bubbles and echo chambers. By continuously showing us content we already like, they can isolate us from different perspectives, leading to increased political polarisation and weaker civic discourse.

How can I apply the liking principle in my digital marketing campaigns?

You can apply the liking principle by translating its psychological drivers into specific marketing tactics. For instance, you can:

• Craft a Relatable Brand Voice: Use language, humour, and a communication style that mirrors your target audience to signal similarity and make your brand feel like a trusted member of their tribe.
• Humanise Your Brand: Use your "About Us" page to showcase the real people on your team, sharing their stories and passions. This fosters a human connection and builds trust.
• Leverage Referral and Influencer Marketing: A recommendation from a trusted friend (referral) or a genuinely liked influencer bypasses advertising defences because the endorsement comes from a liked source.
• Use Praise and Personalisation: Sending personalised messages, like a birthday offer, makes customers feel recognised and valued, creating a positive emotional association with your brand.
• A/B Test Your Efforts: Systematically test variations of your copy, imagery, and testimonials to measure what truly builds liking with your audience. For example, test a generic testimonial against one from a person in the same industry as your target customer.

Pro tip: Make your brand feel less like a company, more like a conversation.

Is the liking principle backed by scientific research?

Yes, the liking principle and its components are supported by decades of peer-reviewed scientific research in psychology and behavioural science. The article cites numerous foundational studies, including:

• Robert Zajonc's work on the mere-exposure effect (familiarity).
• Elliot Aronson and Darwyn Linder's discovery of the Gain-Loss Effect.
• Dion, Berscheid, and Walster's research coined the "what is beautiful is good" stereotype of physical attractiveness.
• Meta-analyses have confirmed the robustness of the halo effect and the mere-exposure effect across many studies.

How does the liking principle interact with other persuasion principles?

The liking principle rarely acts in isolation; it functions as an amplifier that enhances the effectiveness of other principles, particularly authority and social proof.

• Interaction with Authority: We are more likely to trust and follow the advice of an expert (authority) if we also find them to be warm, relatable, and likeable. An expert who is liked feels less intimidating and more like a trusted guide.
• Interaction with Social Proof: Social proof (the tendency to follow the actions of others) is most powerful when the "others" are people we like or see as similar to ourselves. A testimonial from a generic customer is reassuring. Still, a testimonial from someone in our specific industry or role is far more persuasive because it combines social proof with the power of similarity.

Can the impact of the liking principle be measured in business metrics?

Yes, the impact of applying the liking principle can be measured through specific business and marketing metrics. The article's A/B testing playbook suggests tracking the following to quantify its effect:

• Conversion Rate: To see if a more "likeable" brand voice or a humanised "About Us" page leads to more sign-ups or sales.
• Click-Through Rate (CTR): To measure engagement with emails or ads that use personalised praise or relatable social proof.
• Engagement Rate (Likes/Shares): To assess how well your content resonates with your target audience.
• Time on Page / Bounce Rate: To determine if human-centric content is holding visitor attention more effectively.
• Email Open Rate: To test the effect of personalised, praise-based subject lines.
• Net Promoter Score (NPS): This metric directly captures the outcome of liking, as a Promoter is a customer who likes you enough to recommend you.

Pro tip: Likability shows up in both clicks and loyalty.

Does the liking principle work the same way across different cultures?

No, the expression and effectiveness of the liking principle can vary significantly across different cultures, particularly between individualistic and collectivistic societies.

• In individualistic cultures (e.g., North America, Western Europe), which value personal achievement, influence strategies might focus more on an individual's identity.
• In collectivistic cultures (e.g., East Asia, Latin America), which emphasise group harmony and interdependence, people may be more responsive to influence strategies that reinforce social bonds, such as similarity and cooperation.

Tactics like giving compliments must be culturally tuned; what is seen as friendly praise in one culture might be viewed as insincere or inappropriate in another.

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